"Here's to everyone getting back safely": The most embarrasing moment of my life.

“Here’s to everyone getting back safely”: The most embarrasing moment of my life.

In 2009, I spent the fall semester of my sophomore year studying abroad in Florence, Italy. Benedictine College has a campus twenty minutes outside of Florence in a town called Settignano. About thirty of us lived there together with our professor and his family, taking classes four days a week, with the other three days available for travel. After a wonderful semester, our last week of the semester was in Rome, staying in a town a half-hour outside of the main city. This story is about my time in Rome, and is entitled “Here’s to everyone getting back safely.” This is the most embarrassing moment of my life so far.

On the morning of November 13th, 2009, our small class, along with our Italian Tour Guide, Francesco, traveled into the heart of Rome, visiting the second most important church in the Catholic World, St. John Lateran. As our tour group left the Church, we were given the rest of the day to travel as we pleased. Before heading out towards St. Mary Major Basilica, I snapped a quick shot of several friends in the palazzo in front of the Church. (this is McKenna on that morning)

We were a cheerful bunch, visiting different sites across Rome: St. Mary Major, as mentioned, the catacombs of St. Sebastian, the chapel that houses the original icon of Our Lady of Perpetual Help, and the Trevi Fountain, to say a few. At five o’clock our many small groups began to run into one another, as we all made our way back to the train stations to get home.

All of us traveled with buddies, so that no one was ever alone in the big city, especially at night. However, McKenna’s parents and brother had come all the way to Rome for vacation, and planned it so they could meet up with her for a few hours, so she needed to meet them at the fountain in St. Peter’s Square.

The subway was shut down because of an accident, so thousands of tourists were moving around the city at rush hour by bus… Crammed like sardines, and moving slower than walking speed, McKenna said she would hop off the bus a few blocks from the Vatican Square, since it’d be faster. Sure, fine, sounds good, see ya later McKenna, be safe…

The travel was still even more hectic; with buses at a stand-still and the subways running sporadically, our forty minute trip took two hours. Once back at the villa, I unpacked my things, downloaded pictures to my computer, and took a nap.

Looking back, the attitude at dinner that night was somber; people weren’t very talkative, and everyone moved slowly, but I was just excited to be back. After we all had our food and prayer was said, I couldn’t believe how awesome it was that we all were safe and sound back at the villa. I mean, any of us could have gotten separated, or hurt, or any number of bad things, I felt so blessed with how well things went. Taking my glass of wine in hand I stood up, and loudly announced. “A toast! Here’s to everyone getting back safely.”

Dead Silence.

Blank Stares.

More dead silence.

Paul whispered to me, “Andrew… what are you doing?”

-“I’m just glad that everyone made it back, the buses were crazy.”

-“Not everyone made it back… McKenna is missing…”

-“Yeah, I know, Paul, we dropped her off at the bus station.”

-“Andrew, no, seriously, she didn’t show up…”

-“What?”

-“Her parents called, she never showed up.”

Pause…

-“You’re kidding right… we dropped her off…”

-“Dude, shut up. Look, Liz is crying…”

Dead silence.

Liz is literally crying in the corner because she thinks her best friend might be dead or worse, and I just toasted to everyone’s safety…

Sit down. Thoughts. ‘McKenna’s missing? She could be dead… and she’s really pretty, what if she’s worse than dead…’ (Remembering the photos I checked before I napped) ‘What if that photo of her I took this morning is the last photo of her alive.. what if .. well, at least it’s a good one.. good lighting… Shut up, brain! McKenna might be dead!..”

Most awkward dinner ever. Standing outside the hall after dinner, I told everyone that we would be praying the rosary in the chapel for McKenna’s safety. I was the prayer leader…

Turns out McKenna and her parents just passed each other, and she wasn’t dead-or-worse after all. Our teacher even drove into town and searched for her for an hour, and when he got back, we finally got a call through to her parents, who told us that they had found her a few hours ago and had just finished dinner…

I didn’t see her much for the last two days, but the first time I saw her back in the States, I passed by her table and, meeting eyes for a moment, she smiled, nodded her head slightly, and raised her glass…

This joke hasn’t ended, the friends I made on that trip still stand up when we are together and loudly announce “Here’s to everyone getting back safely, and to Andrew.”

I can honestly say that I laugh about it now, though for a long time I died a little inside any time it was brought up; I still have stories that I am too embarrassed to tell, and I don’t know if I ever will. So often we feel crushed by the stupid things we do; we feel super embarrassed and aren’t sure how we’re ever going to get past it. But that’s the thing, you can’t get PAST something that’s a part of you. You gotta accept all the cards that are dealt to you, and play your hand with what you got. I am a bad listener, and I try to draw attention to myself (for good or ill), and one time these added up to pretty bad situation… but now it’s a story I won’t forget, and that makes it worth it.

I made us T-shirts.